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YES, THEY ALL TURNED UP TO THE OPENING OF A PAPER BAG; EXCLUSIVE
STARS? WE GOT 'EM GOOD AND PROPER!; CELEBRITIES TURN OUT FOR 'PAPER
BAG' HOAX
They came, they saw and they realised they'd been conned . . . the
spotlight -seeking celebrities who'll turn up for anything.
In this case the event that brought them out was the opening of
a paper bag.
Top society hostess Liz Brewer, TV weather girl Sally Meen, models
Paula Hamilton and Julie Ann Rhodes joined the throng at
the glittering non- event.
They had all been lured by the chance of rubbing shoulders with
stars in London at the champagne launch of a fictitious restaurant
called - what else - The Paper Bag.
The Daily Mirror arranged for invitations to be sent out in neat
paper bags. And we mentioned that, by the way, guests expected at
the bash included rocker Mick Jagger and Hollywood's Steven Spielberg,
Jack Nicholson, Sylvester Stallone and Tom Cruise.
We stood back and waited for the rush at our party address - actually
a strip of red-carpeted pavement in a classy Chelsea street.
Neighbours gawped as we parked two stretch limos and organised a
welcoming group of hired bouncers, photographers and a suave head
waiter.
First guest to arrive, shortly before 8pm, was Paula Hamilton with
her agent. Wearing a black trouser suit and displaying her cleavage
in a white blouse, Paula paused for cameras and handed her invitation
to our chief bouncer Gerry.
She greeted the head waiter and his glamorous model assistant Fleur.
Then we handed Paula a paper bag printed with the message: "Daily
Mirror welcomes you to the opening of a paper bag." And we told
her it was all a hoax.
"No, you're joking," wailed Paula. "Are you serious? Hang on a minute,
do you mean Spielberg's not here? Tom Cruise isn't here?
"I should have known really. I don't believe it. What do I do with
my paper bag? This is absolutely brilliant."
The reformed alcoholic accepted a free bottle of champagne and said:
"I don't drink but I'm sure my agent will enjoy it immensely."
Minutes later Paul Mowatt, husband of the Queen's cousin Marina,
turned up in a dapper beige suit. The son-in-law of Princess Alexandra,
he was with a pal.
Stunned Paul stayed long enough to sip a glass of champagne and
say: "Brilliant! That's cool. That's lovely."
But he warned our next guest. And GMTV's Sally sped off in her four-wheel-
drive car before we even had a chance to give her a glass of bubbly.
Then along came two American guests of singer Terence Trent D'Arby,
who was expected later on.
"Okay, that's kinda cool," said one of them as he took his bag and
bottle of champers. "So, where do we go now? Do we go in here? What,
you mean there's no party?" They left to alert Terence.
We had to wait only nine minutes before Julie Ann, ex-wife
of Duran Duran's Nick Rhodes, arrived with a friend. She burst
out laughing when we told her about our joke. "Okay, thank you,"
she said, accepting our gifts.
We knew our arrangements had been perfect when we were graced by
the presence of Liz, No 1 party organiser.
We told her the truth. "Oh well," she sighed, "back to dreary old
home."
Three more friends of Terence were next to pop along and find no
restaurant.
"We've been had," said one. "Oh, brilliant. Can we have a bottle
of champagne?"
By the time we wrapped up our launch at 10pm, only one national
newspaper had fallen for our little trick.
The gullible Sun sent a showbiz writer. We explained she'd been
fooled and handed her a Daily Mirror paper bag.
"Can I put it over my head," she asked. By all means.
THE LIST
THE response to our announcement of the restaurant launch was overwhelming.
In one morning alone we took 48 phone calls.
Inquirers asked about everything from the restaurant design to Pavel's
temperament.
The celebrities who said they would like to come included: Hairdresser
NICKY CLARKE, weather girl SALLY MEEN, actor CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS,
hostess LIZ BREWER, pop star TERENCE TRENT D'ARBY, singer LUKE GOSS,
photographer PAUL MOWATT, model JULIE ANN RHODES, actress
and model PAULA HAMILTON, TV presenter SHARRON DAVIES and Gloucester
Tory MP DOUGLAS FRENCH.
COOKING UP A HOAX
OUR sting took months of planning - in six stages.
STEP 1: We created an imaginary chef, a Czech. For a name we settled
on Pavel Lacvec.
The main problem was that we knew the Paper Bag was a stupid name
for any restaurant. So we came up with a plausible reason.
Pavel's grandmother, we told everyone, ran a market stall where
knedliky, a Czech delicacy, was sold by the paper bag.
To make Pavel's history authentic we trawled travel guides, studied
Czech history and laboured over Czech translation books.
STEP 2: We had to find the right location.
It couldn't be anywhere on the normal restaurant scene because everyone
would realise there was no sign of a new eaterie.
We chose Beaufort Street in Chelsea, where a large hedge hid the
fact there was no restaurant.
STEP 3: We sent out invitations in little brown paper bags featuring
the red, white and blue design of the Czech national flag.
Tucked inside was a potted history of Pavel career. We revealed
that he was famed for his featherlight wild cherry astries 'tresne'
which are always served on beautiful silver plates.
And, listing Steven Spielberg among our expected guests, we exlained
that he was Pavel's pal.
We hinted darkly that guests had to reply promptly because of security
restrictions.
STEP 4: Our guests had to be able to reply, so we invented a PR
company. Benjamin John PR, as we called ourselves, shouldn't appear
to have any connection with the Daily Mirror. So we hired a postal
address.
And we installed a telephone line with an answering machine taking
calls for the event.
STEP 5: We dealt with calls flooding in from TV and radio stations,
newspapers, magazines and press agencies. STEP 6: Finally we set
the scene for the night.
We hired the limos, a red carpet, barriers, bouncers and models
to give the illusion of a busy restaurant entrance.
Then we planted sightseers and fake photographers to create the
air of a celebrity bash. The snare was set.
GRAPHIC: BAGGED: Paula was fooled - and so was Liz (right);; BAGGED:
Julie Ann (right) and her friend (left);; BAGGED: Terence's pal
(right) has a laugh with Fleur;; ONLY ONE NATIONAL NEWSPAPER WAS
CAUGHT;; The Sun showbiz writer duly accepted her Daily Mirror paper
bag with a smile. Then she asked: "Can I put it over my head?"BAGGED:
Paul with our girl Fleur. "Brilliant," he saidWARNED: Sally sped
off before she could have bubblySWISH: The two stretch limos we
parked outside the restaurant that never was
LOAD-DATE: September 13, 1996
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